Purple is a good colour…

(Click for bigger)

Something tells me it’s been years, if ever, that this ham’s been anywhere near a sportsfield.

Taken at the 2011 Orlando Hamcation, sub’ed by Alex.

John K1BOS (who would like you all to know that the car is NOT HIS) immediatley thought of Hamsexy when he saw this car at the Waltham Amateur Radio Association & Clay Center Amateur Radio Club Field Day 2010 even in Brookline, Massachusetts - and took some truly incredible photos.

Someone decided to take an old E-Class Mercedes and give it a hefty German slap in the face. Keep in mind that this car is on DISPLAY — it is at this Field Day Event because they want to show off the cool things that you can do with Ham Radio. Okay, so they filled a car with antennas and radios…. but holy shit, you’d think they would have enough sense to… oh, I dunno, tidy it up a bit? Pick up the trash? Maybe freshen the duct tape holding the radios onto the dashboard? This car is such an accurate protrayal of what Amateur Radio is these days… sloppy, unkempt, old, redundant, possibly smelly and really not caring about the image it portrays to the outside world.

Enjoy!!

View with the doors open, possibly to air it out.

The cockpit. The multimeter is a nice touch.

The rear working area. Pictured is Paul Bunyan’s HT, a whole lot of duct tape, a morse key and notepad suitable only for left handed people with a lubricated swivel for a midsection, and a whole lot of clutter.

The ass-end of this embarrassment on wheels. It’s unplated, which I guess is a consolation that nobody in their right mind actually has this deathtrap as their daily driver.

Detail of the driver’s seat. This is just a mess of cables, trash, duct tape, radios and sadness. I have no idea what’s taped to the centre of the steering wheel, but I’m sure it’s pointless.

As always, we welcome your submissions. It’s where we get most of our material from. Send it to hamsexy.submissions@gmail.com, and if it’s a good submission like K1BOS’s, we’ll publish it. Stay Classy, Ham Radio….

Okay, fine - I took the fucking post down.

After a tidal wave of whining emails regarding this, either from the guy who made those stupid ID cards, people whose photos may or may not have appeared on the ID cards, or people whose callsigns appear on the parody cards I made (the callsigns of which I just pulled out of my ass when making the cards, by the way) - I’ve just decided to take the fucking post down than continue to be embarrassed by your childish whining.

This whole stupid ordeal just goes to show why amateur radio will, thankfully, be dead in 15 years, when the old, cranky, overweight non-procreating men who current occupy space in this hobby will mercifully die. Then, the amateur bands can be turned over to something useful, like public safety, media, broadcasting, etc… anything but the old fart geeky whinefest that goes on these days.

Remember when Ham Radio was a vital service? When I was a kid I used to see the local amateur radio club at conventions and events, doing long distance relay messages for your friends or family, and I thought that was so cool… Extremely long distance, real time communication was something that didn’t exist for most people at that time, and it was a novelty.

Then, something terrible happened to ham radio: progress. Nowadays, with cell phones, long distance calls without the assistance of an operator and the internet have made communicating with people around the world commonplace and uninteresting. The rest of the world rocketed forward while Ham Radio stood still. There have been a few brave people who attempted to incorporate new technology into ham radio, but the ‘old guard’ resisted like someone was taking away their triple Baconator… WHAT? IRLP? THAT’S NOT HAM RADIO. WHAT? DIGITAL? THAT’S ENCRYPTION AND NOT ALLOWED. And don’t even get me started on those fucking idiots who claim that Ham Radio is a ‘vital public service’, and that it MMMMUUUSSSTTTT be maintained ‘when all else fails’…. Well, so far the only disasters that Ham Radio has been useful at have been those where self-important hams have crowbarred their way in. Hams are only good at calling in rain to Skywarn net control, fetching coffee for the REAL first responders (the ones that belong to licensed, government sanctioned organizations that actually have physical fitness requirements) or patrolling little kiddies on halloween. That’s it. And take the fucking lightbar off of your car, you fat loser … you are embarrassing us all.

Face it - Ham Radio will be all but gone in a lot shorter time than all of us realize. If you want to find out the culprit, it isn’t Echolink or BPL or Riley or even Barack Obama - it’s YOU, you smelly, fat, old piece of shit. YOU.

Ever since we launched Hamsexy over 200 years ago (okay, more like six years), we’ve had our share of detractors. Our lawyers have quite the collection of cease and desist letters, lawsuits, angry e-mails, death threats, and even people searching out the addresses of one of our co-founders, visiting him at home and and threatening bodily harm (thankfully our co-founder is a gun owner and was able to defuse the situation like a gentleman)… but, most of all, we’ve had a plethora of WHINERS. Big, fat, white, lazy whiners. Do you know what happens if you leave a cooked ham leg out in the sun? It starts WEEPING TEARS OF FAT.

So, because of the whiners, the post is gone. Poof. Gone…. and those who did whine (check out the comments thread to see two of them, mainly the callsign-less Chris and Colin AE7HF (I’m sure he’ll whine about me using his callsign on the main page, too… and maybe threaten to sue us)) - maybe I kindly suggest that you go fuck yourself with the correct end of a dull knife.

Pitiful.

Reader Steve submitted this new fashion statement that’s sure to be hitting all of the hamfests this year.

Hopefully they come in big and tall sizes for the average ham.

I don’t know if Steve made this up or not, but it’s pure genius: