Wednesday, December 22nd 2004
Update by: Purple Zero
Ahh... REACT... Nothing gets a REACTion from the readers of this site than when we kick around the dead horse known as REACT.
What is REACT, might you ask? Take the Hamsexyness of ARES, http://www.sparklit.com/pc/?ID=870760stead of licenced hams cruising around, looking for a chance to get in the way of trained emergency personell, REACT offers UNLICENCED folks in their place, with the only qualification to join is the cash to plunk down for a CB radio.
Now - some of you out there don't like what I've been writing about REACT. A few of the more closed-minded readers have even threatened to call THA POLICE!!! on one of this site's webmasters for what we've wrtten about REACT in the past couple of weeks (I know, I laughed too when I heard it). Being a full-time Paramedic in one of America's larger cities for close to 10 years has taught me a few things about these whacker groups. One of them is this: just when you thought ARES couldn't get in the way enough, drop it all and run! HERE COMES REACT!!
A few years ago me and my partner responded to a two car accident on a piece of highway about 15 miles out of town. It was a pretty crummy night of rain and sleet (we don't get much of the cold stuff in this part of the country) - both cars had hit a patch of slippery road and ended up taking each other into the ditch. Nothing too serious, but one of the occupants needed to be brought to the hospital.
Just as we were getting ready to extracate the victim out of her car, we hear that sickening "tires ain't sticking to the road" sound on the road above us.... Out of nowhere pieces of our Ambulance and unknown Oldsmobile rain down upon us. Me, my partner, and the firemen assisting us in the extracation scramble up the embankment to find that a local REACT member, upon hearing the accident call on the scanner (or
seeing the flashing lights in the distance, we never did find out), felt it was his duty to race to the scene, swerve around the Sheriff's cars blocking the affected lanes (and some bewildered Deputies), and end up taking out the back of my ambulance when his not-so-nimble REACT response vehicle hit the same patch of pavement that caused the initial wreck. Thankfully no one was hurt in the secondary collision, so I can happily report that the deputies could hardly cuff the idiot from their hysterical laughter at the situation. The local REACT group blamed the fire department for the incident, saying that it was their duty to sand the road as soon as they arrived, so that their "response unit" could have arrived on scene without damaging our Ambulance and potentially injuring or killing some of the real responders on scene. Thing is - we were doing JUST FINE before REACT decided their attendance was neccesary. I'm nhttp://t.extreme-dm.com/?login=hamsexyave done to be honest - from his size he looks like he'd need two or three stokes baskets to remove him from the scene when he would have eventually injured himself getting down the embankment. I still have the Oldsmobile logo I took out of the back of our bus as a soveinier.
is REACT really needed in this day and age? In the more rural parts of America, sure - I can see a niche that a small volunter force of responders might serve a purpose. After all, we have volunteer EMT and Fire serving those areas. But come on... CHICAGO REACT? What POSSIBLE role could REACT possibly fill in big cities? Other than an excuse for members to make up uniforms and cruise around bitching at people to keep off channel 9, NOTHING. Like I said before, in this day and age REACT is redundant. Other thank Truckers and a few CB enthusiasts no one has a CB rig in their car anymore. Heck I've got a CB I use occasionally - the truckers are good with the traffic reports. But if I'm in an accident, I'm reaching for the cell phone. What's some loser in a REACT uniform going to do? Take an extra 2 minutes to call 911? Come rescue me on the side of some busy freeway?
No matter what they say, REACT groups get laughed at by real cops. Trust me, I've seen it. Other than providing traffic control for a handful of parades a year, REACT just gets in the way. An example of the redunance can be found on some REACT websites that exist. For instance, the website for the Don Valley React team (located north of Toronto up in Canada) lists some of the vital emergencies and events that the team has participated in. These include such life-shattering happenings such as:
- 200 Years Young Street Parade - over 10 km, from Newmarket to East Gwillemberry, providing security, planning, communications and monitoring the safety of the participants throughout the event.
- Boy Scouts safety information session, providing a hands-on demonstration with realistic scenarios for dealing with real emergencies.
- Display at Upper Canada Mall, Newmarket, promoting road and water safety.
- Red Cross Emergency Measures Organization Pickering '95 Exercise, assisting in registration, inquiry and transportation.
That last one kills me. The Red Cross invites them to some sort of an emergency exercize - just to take names and write out name badges. It poves that, in your city's most desperate hours of need, REACT is there, ready to take your name down and tell you to stand over by the yellow flag.
So yes... It's true...In the world of ARES emergency management, REACT is the proverbial short bus.
Comments, as well as ridiculously unfounded threats of police involvement, are always appreciated. [email protected] is where to send them. Until next time.. Friends don't let friends join REACT.
Saturday, December 18th 2004
Update by: Clyde McPhail
Hehe... got a great e-mail from Max. Just so you know, this is the example of what all submissions to Hamsexy.com should strive to live up to:
Orange County ARES is located in Orlando, home to the largest tourist destination in the United States. Remember, if you are the largest tourist destination you have a responsibility to prepare—especially—in this post 9/11 world. So we offer a glimpse inside the high-tech Hamsexy world of ARES in Central Florida. This – is Orange County's ARES finest! You got yourself a storm? You got yourself a terror attack and all commo fails? How about you are out of cigarettes and you need a delivery, well get on the horn and contact O.C. ARES who will bring out the “War Wagon” (yes that is what it is called) to your community.
And - from the Hamsexy Corrections Department - it seems that N9AVY's call (yesterday's update) is not a vanity call - it was actually assigned to him. Who knew.
Friday, December 17th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD
Wow! The Hamsexy mailbox is filling up faster than Santa's this year! First, we've got a letter from Jay, the unfortunate soul whom Purple Zero targeted in yeterday's update. Not surprisingly he's taken exception to what PZ wrote about him and his hoopty:
"First, as any regular reader of this site would know, we have very little tolerance for unauthorised, volunteer traffic 'support' teams. While there are a few out there who 'do it right', our own research has concluded that the grand majority of them are...well... whackers."
First off, we are AUTHORISED by the York Regional Police, as we are now fully registered through them.
"For those wh might have forgotten, it's the 'traffic support' group that operates north of Toronto, Canada known for rather poor installs and wearing camoflauge."
We don't wear camouflage. That member left the group months back. Poor installs? I don't think so.
As for REACT, they're currently being hunted down by the OPP for impersonating police everywhere they go.
Thanks for the comments! I think you need to perhaps re-think your stance on a few things (like how YRPD thinks of groups such as yours), but hey - just keep it under 100 when you're responding to those accidents there, buddy. "Nimble" or not, there's no excuse for speeding. And this is coming from someone who isn't a Level 2 Traffic Technician.
Next we have a short note from Robert KE4MCI regarding PZ's comments about REACT:
react is still alive. there are lots of whackers in react but they do provide a good service to their members by making liability insurance affordable.
Okay then. REACT - crusaders for lower insurance rates. Next we've got a letter from Jerry N9AVY, who wins with this week's coolest vanity call:
Couldn't help but notice the ads in QST & World Radio for a badge with one's callsign engraved on it. What a waste of 50 bucks ! This has to be the latest 'hamsexy" accessory !
Now - the isue of the ham badge is a strange one. The issue has been bandied about on various forums, such as the old Batlabs Batlounge and QRZ. Now, I have thought long and hard about getting one - not to wear around like some whacker, but just to have to put on my desk. A nice little coversation piece because, as whacker-wear goes, they do look pretty nice. Those who buy them because they are legitimate 'wearing pieces' (or that by virtue of being a ham somehow entitles them to carry a badge) well... we all know what pervue that falls under. Like I said, I'd buy it just to have as a nice hamsexy curio, but seeing as though a nice shiny ham badge costs upwards of $60... Ouch. The Ham Badge will just have to wait, at least until I find a new job. But.. seriously... to those who carry their ham badge in their wallets (or wear it around at Hamfests)... if you want to "flash the tin", do a few pushups and become a cop... but c'mon... look who I'm talking to here... (grin).
If you want to check 'em out, visit http://www.maxsell.com/radio_badge.htm - If the guy who sells the ham badges reads this, I'll take a silver one with VE3HBD on it... Make sure the bottom line says HAMSEXY (grin).
Thursday, December 16th 2004
Update by: Purple Zero
Here's a rare one.... Someone submitting their OWN car to the scrutiny of the Hamsexy. Here's exactly what he sent us:
After seeing another ETS vehicle up on your site, I have decided to send you pictures and information on another of the ETS vehicles, mine.
Here are the following stats:
YEAR: 1992
MAKE: Ford
MODEL: Thunderbird
ENGINE: 3.8L fuel-injected V6, with Ford Racing intake manifold and air sensor enhancements
STATS: 170 HP, max sustainable speed of 220 km/h
TECH:
1 Cobra 40ch CB radio
1 Uniden Bearcat frequency scanner
3 antennas (1 BC, 1 scanner, 1 hidden UHF)
EQUIPMENT: Emergency kit, complement of 14 two foot pylons, 12 road flares, 1 floor jack, 2 3-mile FRS radios, 1 removeable roof mount Grody double-rotor system
In addition, several officers in the York Regional Police have dubbed this vehicle "ETS Undercover" due to the remove able double rotor.
My car is more of the rapid response unit, as it is more nimble and a quicker accelerator than our other units. The Ford Taurus (unit 225) has the same engine, but not the extra improvements given to the Thunderbird/Mark VIII for performance purposes.
If there are any questions about this vehicle, don't hesitate to contact me. Attached are some images.
-J. Buchholz
Level 2 Traffic Technician, ETS
Alright.. where to start. First, as any regular reader of this site would know, we have very little tolerance for unauthorised, volunteer traffic 'support' teams. While there are a few out there who 'do it right', our own research has concluded that the grand majority of them are... well... whackers. The last time we featured this particular group (which were formerly called "C.O.V.E.R.T."), they demanded we remove all references of them from the site. For those wh might have forgotten, it's the 'traffic support' group that operates north of Toronto, Canada known for rather poor installs and wearing camoflauge. And... before we get another angry letter from V.E.T.S. - please be aware that the individual e-mailed us this submission himself.
Aside from the fact the submitter seems a little too self-proud, it's not the most fabulous vehicle we've ever reviewed... One mall security rotator box and no photos of the radio install... Other than the fact it belongs to VETS and the owner is selling it like it's a Ferrari or something, it's pretty dull.
Three wacktastic elements jump out at you:
1) He refers to his car as a "Rapid Response Unit" and boasts his car is capable of a 'sustained' speed of 220 kph (3 cheers for those air sensor enhancements). Speeding sure doesn't sound like responsible traffic management behavour to me. And what is a "Level 2 Traffic Technician"? How much more does a Level 2 road closer get to do than a level one?
2) He says that his local police department refers to his car as "ETS Undercover". A friend of this site informs us that the York Police Department have very different views on groups such as VETS, but that's a different story.
3) The use of CB. While we a hamsexy have absolutley nothing against CB or those who use them, any serious group such as this should at least give some effort to their communications. REACT died in the 80's - cars don't have CBs anymore, and with the popularity of cell phones there just isn't a need for it. REACT whackers are just guys who want to get involved with something but are either too lazy or undisciplined to get their ham ticket and join ARES. I'm not even sure that REACT even was as big as it was up in Canada as it is here. I dunno - but whacker is whacker, no matter how many vowels you choose to pronounce in your day to day speech.
Comments are always appreciated... [email protected]
Wednesday, December 15th 2004
Update by: Purple Zero
Whooo-boy... got a few photos in the mail today from an anonymous source.... Check 'em out:
"Storm Tracker", huh... What is it? A food delivery service? Cleaners? A management consulting firm? And the uniform kills me - I wish the photos wer of a better quality so we could all see what the patches say - but that circa 1970's speaker mic says it all. If you've got photos to submit, click on How to Contact on the right hand side bar.
UPDATE: The uniform is a REACT uniform. No idea on the make of speaker mic.
Tuesday, December 14th 2004
Update by: Purple Zero
Got this e-mail today from Brian WS10... Those of you who frequent Batlabs know who good ole KitN1MCC is .. and if you don't, you just aren't as 1337 as you thought you were.
My pal, Kit N1MCC, who does nothing but talk about your web site, is the ultimate in HamSexy around here! He has the most HamSexy vehicle ever (lucky him, he used to work for Whelen Engineering, which makes those groovy light bars you see on all police and fire vehicles). And he's also a broadcaster on WESU FM at Wesleyan University here in Middletown, CT.
He's a ham/scanner spaz/firedog/wannabe/etc, and he even became an official member of City of Middletown (CT) Office of Emergency Management (I guess so he could legitimately put the "Squad 39" thing on his license plate).
He insisted I take these pictures of him and his truck and submit them to HamSexy.com, so here ya go!
By the way, we also have a link to HamSexy.com on the Middlesex Amateur Radio Society/Connecticut Amateur Radio Emergency Service (MARS/CARES) club web site http://www.w1edh.org
Stay cool...
Alright... here are the photos!!
Ah Kit.... Strike a pose! You're on Hamsexy!!
Saturday, December 11th 2004
Update by: Dexter Mellons
Yo yo yo! What up peoples...
An anonymous contributor sent us some shots of a vehicle he took at the Stone Mountain hamfest in Tennessee. Salute!
PLEASE NOTE: I know now that it's a Pinzgauer military truck.. Thanks for all who e-mailed me.
The guy who took the shots also sent us a shot of the radios inside, but unfortunatley it didn't turn out shooting through the glass.
Update! The owner of the truck has e-mailed us, and will be furnishing photos of the inside of he truck. We'll publish them as soon as he sends them to us.
Friday, December 10th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD
Well, I'm back from my jaunt to Rochester - good times, good times. It's nice to get away from the increasingly Stifling left-wing liberalistic air of my home country and embrace the heartland of America, where people still have the balls to call them "CHRISTMAS LIGHTS" and not "SEASONAL LIGHTS", people still can put Nativity scenes on their lawns without fear of vandalism, and one can buy beer for $5 for a 12 pack in a gas station (or buy beer at all in a gas station).... Urrgh... but that's a different story.
Just when I resolve myself against mentioning QRZ dot com again, they go ahead and ruin it all by sending us more comedic gold. Here's the latest letter from these clowns:
Let me put this in simple terms.
If you walked into TOYS R' US, do you think you would see ads for Victoria's Secret?
Or if you walked into Sears, they would have a poster with a link to JC Penny's Web Site?
You walk into Shopper's Drugmart, you are greeted by a person handing out flyers for Synder's that doesn't work for either company. How long do you think Shopper's Drug Mart would allow this person in their store?
You buy a subscription for "The Barbie Magazine" for your 8 year old daughter and she finds and a blow in subscription card for Playboy with a web site address.
Does this help explain ANYTHING to you?
It's not rocket science. It is business. QRZ set the guidelines on what is acceptable on QRZ. Finding links to other sites we do not think are appropriate for many of our members and removing them is our right.
We have NOTHING against HAMSEXY. We hope they have great success but our duty and rules apply to QRZ members.
In your case, I personally counted 10 posts from you that had clikable links to HAMSEXY..
This is my last email to you . Please, next time you quote someone, take 2 things into consideration - 1 - US Copyright laws, including Internet, prohibit reproduction with out consent of the writer. 2 - quoting out of context can change the meaning of the written word.
QRZ
Thanks for the words, Mystery QRZ person!
There are three things that really strike out at me in reading this letter:
1) It's totally anonymous. I've got no clue who sent it, but I assume that they speak on behalf of all ofthe QRZ editoral staff. I'm sure this was deliberate.
2) The sender seemed to go out of his way to remind me that he's American and I'm Canadian... Mentioning specificaly a Canadian-only store (Shopper's Drug Mart - nice! Way to do your research), referencing specifcally US Copyright Laws..
3) Threatening us with a vague violation of "US COPYRIGHT LAWS"
4) That HAMSEXY is somehow diverting marketshare from QRZ's advertising strategy, as we are 'competition'
I'll tackle all three of these points head-on
1) Hiding behind a cloak of anonyminty certainly isn't helping anyone's case here. Come on - let's see who you REALLY are
2) I might be Canadian, but this site isn't. The domain name is registered to an American. The server is located in the USA. With the exception of myself, all contributors are American. I ain't the site, I just work here.
3) What a baseless and cowardly threat. There is no breach of ANY copyright law. All messages posted to the site were from private e-mails. One to me, the other published by the other person who recieved it from Fred. Besides, the articles of the Berene Convention protect this site from prosecution in any instance - ebfore you start winging around legal threats perhaps try reading up on the law yourself. I've conferenced with the Hamsexy legal team on this, and was encouraged to laugh heartily at the accusations. So I shall! Ha ha!
4) Anyone who visits QRZ will agree that they are STUFFED TO THE HILT with flashing, moving, blinking ADS. It's almost like
reading a free newspaper it's got so many bloody ads. Whatever... if they want to make a buck off of their readers, so be it. Mystery QRZ man claims that, because of my references to HAMSEXY on QRZ, we are somehow interfering with their relationship with their advertisers....that it's the same thing as a store allowing other stores to post their ads inside the original store.... or something. Unlike QRZ, we are not a commercial venture. Our server space is donated, all of our contributors work for free.... This site costs us nothing, and earns us zero dollars. We have no ads. We don't even solicit donations. I fail to see how the existence of Hamsexy could even begin to threaten QRZ's market share.. of... whatever foothold they have in the market. Who knows.
I posted this letter on the Hamsexy forums last week, and got some good responses. Here are a few:
IVT writes:
That's just fabulous. What the hell is wrong with this site that makes them want to use those comparisons and who the hell are they to protect everyone from the oh so horrible things on this website?
Yeah, there isn't the volume of people here that there are on QRZ but I know you guys have had to ban only 1 person from this place so far.
The hateful bullshit on their stupid forums does worse for this hobby than anything else with maybe the exception of the ham radio Usenet forums. And again with the copyright fhit. Stop trying to be the police of everything related to communication.
These jackasses are starting to sound like the overprotective soccer mom of ham radio.
KC9ECI wrote:
Plausible deniablity? Rogue moderator? I should think that Fred would at least have the nards to sign an email.
PJ Wrote:
[Advertising has...] to be the worse example of comparisons.
QRZ and Hamsexy are not competitors or anything of the sort. Can't seem to remember the last time that Hamsexy was competing for Kenwood's advertising dollars with QRZ.
So.. barring any more response from the QRZ camp - I'll end this now. Some people are geting tired of this constant mentioning on QRZ, but man... who am I to pass up such comedic gold? If they write back, I'm gonna post it.
Saturday, December 4th 2004
Update by: VE3HBD
We got a letter that turned out to be from a long lost friend of Seth's, a fellow named Tim. Here it is:
Greetings and Salutations.
First off, let me congratulate and offer you my “kudos” for a much needed fresh perspective and source o
f inciteful invective to renew the wilting landscape of this disparate and oft-misunderstood hobby. Now that we have that bullshit over with, this is fucking hilarious, and I felt compared to share.
See, I used to know Seth. Now, I am sure that you are completely aware that Seth is the Real Deal gun totin’, motorola talkin’, hamsexy kinda guy one would need to pull off a revolutionary media coup such as hamsexy.com, but what you may not know is that Seth was “keepin’ it real” long before such a thing was even imagined.
Seth, myself and a couple other local youth no-code degenerates were the bane of the local 2m repeater back in the day. After I was banished from the local RACES group for being underage and underweight, we had a quasi-nightly gathering where I would “cough up the net” in deference to the weekly RACES practice activations. Many, many a night the repeater was shut down in our honor, or the FCC monitoring station in Bowie was called to report us, only to increase the frustration of our detractors because we “weren’t doing anything illegal.” Hell, you would have thought that they would have thanked us for keeping the repeater 
busy and having someone listening at all hours. We sufficiently aggravated some of the control ops to the point where they called my parents to tattle on me. That plan kinda flopped because I was 200 miles away working at summer camp, and my HTX-202 just didn’t have that kind of talk out power, even with the telescoping whip antenna, for that accusation to be at all credible.
One of my favorite hamsexy stories with Seth didn’t involve the repeater at all. I was driving a carpool with Seth back from the Timonium hamfest. Also in the car was Kevin, N3LGA, and Andrew. Kevin was another of our resident nocturnal repeater degenerates. Andrew was sort of a ham wannabe at this point but was interested enough to come along to the ‘fest. Andrew was being very annoying and running his mouth a bunch on the fairly long drive back from Timonium. Now first, a little background. Seth had to this ‘fest brought with him an 8” floppy rubber dildo which he planned to produce and beat onto any hapless tailgate vender’s table while screaming “you are dicking me over! You are dicking me over!” with the hope of intimidating his way into the best possible hamfest value, if not making new friends. So here we were, with Andrew not shutting up despite vigorous encouragement. How to make someone close their mouth? How indeed. So Seth shoves the dildo right into Andrew’s mouth in mid-sentence. A loud gagging noise ensues, and I am laughing so hard I hit the jaguar in front of us at the light. Lucky for me, there was no visible damage to either car (this is back when cars still had bumpers) and for some strange reason the jag driver wasn’t real interested in hanging out to exchange information with 4 white guys in camo pants. So I kinda got out of the hobby somewhat during college, but am slowly being drawn back.
Since I last talked to Seth, I finished college (engineering, of course) and then went to paramedic school, and am now a fourth year in medical school, and hope to begin training to specialize in emergency medicine this coming summer. Please do tell Seth I said hi and would love to hear what he is up to.
Just a little funny interlude.. the stories about Seth's hamfest dildo always make me chuckle :)
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