Thursday, May 6th 2004
Posted by: Hamsexy Administrator Seth

I would like to thank everyone who has emailed us the past few weeks. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated. We have received nothing but positive response! At a minimum I expected massive hate mail from the whiney bitches at QRZ. What's wrong guys? NO BALLS?

On another note, I installed an icom 706 in my truck Tuesday. I even used a ball mount in my right rear of the bed for the hf/6m antenna. When I stuck the Kenwood MA-5 80m antenna on there I realized how geeky I had become. HELP!

I guess I really am as geeky as the next guy.

Wednesday, May 5th 2004
Posted by: Purple Zero

Locked in an eternal struggle like a proverbial snake and mongoose, there exists a bitter war that rivals the conflicts of Northern Ireland, African tribal wars, etc. You won't find it on some far flung battlefield or silken glade, but right in your own backyard. Its the war that exists between CBers and Amateur radio operators.

First, a quick history lesson. Citizens' Band radio, prior to the mid-70's, was a licensed service. Users had to possess a license to be able to transmit on the CB frequencies (11 Meter band, 27 MHz band, "Children's Band', etc.). After deregulation (some would argue before), CB was overrun with some pretty strange characters. A lot of trash-talking, foul mouthed yahoos gave the service a bad name, and to this day it never recovered. Those who were disgusted by the antics on CB either turned their radios off or got their Amateur Radio license, a forum where such tomfoolery is virtually nonexistant due to some heavy self-policing (both a good and a bad thing). Because of this, a cold war between the two services eventually formed. As a result, two opinions sprouted from this fertile earth:

1: CB Radio people think that Hams are ELITIST, PRETENTIOUS SNOBS who care more about waving their license around than getting down to communicating. Hams also also seen to wipe their asses with toast points and brag about the last thousand dollars they spent on yet another radio. Hams also take it upon themselves to be police officers of the entire electromagnetic spectrum, and take pride in the fact they are doing their part to ensure the amateur bands continue to go forth in the manner their narrow, elitist minds see fit.

2: Amateur Radio people think that CB Radio people are INBRED, TOOTHLESS, GODLESS REDNECKS who are either too stupid or too lazy to get their licence, and would rather continue to sell their children for Whiskey than buckle down and study for their ticket (which is pointless because CB people can't read). Hams also think that, by virtue of being a ham, they are peforming an ridiculously valuable public service, and that the entire world would cease to rotate and freeze into a cube if ham radio didn't exist.

As you can see, there needs to be a lot of work to be done before some common ground is found between these two groups.

The problem is this: Hams see CBers as lawless, and the CBers see the Hams as elitist. The issue stands that there's just more illegal things to do with CB radios to make the hobby more interesting than with Amateur Radio. Freebanding, linear amplifiers, strange antenna setups, etc. It drives hams absolutley CRAZY because it takes them away from their normal hamicular duties (yelling at people using 10-codes on 2m repeaters, discussing the weather with someone four blocks away, creating new and wonderful smells from their unwashed jeans, etc.) . The fact that CB radio is a totally anonymous, callsign-free forum doesn't help either. Hams just *love* to seek out fault in anything and everything radio, especially in the domain of the 'lesser' services (scanners, CB radio, FRS, GMRS, etc.) The forums at QRZ.COM illustrate this example perfectly. (I'll save the seething contempt that Hams have for FRS for another post, because that in itself deserves its own section). Some of the hatred hams have for these services (specifically anything that allows you to transmit -- scanner people are seen as not even worthy to exist and are generally regarded as cowans and eavesdroppers to be filtered by the Tyler of Ham radio) is just plain silly. Silly bordering on jealosy. "How dare they even FEIGN the notion they are on the same level as me! I took a test! I have a callsign! How must I prove my superiority to you?" Its the same story for every service.

CB people aren't totally innocent of their crimes, either. While I myself use CB while on the highway (I am also a licensed ham for many years), I am dismayed at how some people act on the air. The secret is this: you have to take it at face value - nothing breaks up the dull monotony of a shitty commute more than listening to some of the antics that go on in the cars around me. When its not irritating, its hilarious. Nothing ruins the party more than getting some self-important person on the air (usually a Ham) trying to change CB from what it is to what they want it to be. CB radio is like the internet - its a pure anarchy. Its the Mos Eisley of radio, without angry Wookies and dangerous space pirates (and the standing 'no droid' rule). Trying to form it into some sort of regulated band (or bitching about it) is pointless and annoying.

CBers see themselves as rebels on the last dark outpost of radio. Hams see themselves king of the mountain, because you need to pass a test to get to where they are. Its a pretty sad state of affairs, actually. If the average stinkbeast at a Hamfest is our chosen soverign, I think I'll stick to 11 meters.